Procrastination is the name of my game

I procrastinate. I can’t help it. I know when I’m doing it, and most often I know why I’m doing it. It weighs heavy on my mind right now as I think about the reasons why. The last few mornings I’ve been obsessing over the game Solitaire and Yacht Rock.

Turns out I’m really good at Solitaire. And, really good at remembering the lyrics to yacht rock songs. For those of you unfamiliar with “yacht rock” Wikipedia states that it was an online video series following the fictionalized lives and careers of American soft rock stars of the late 1970s and early 1980s. You know the ones….Hall and Oates, Steely Dan…It boggles my mind that I can’t remember where I put away the tweezers that I just used the other day BUT I can, line for line, recite “Ride Like the Wind,” by Christopher Cross.

“It is the night, my body’s weak/ I’m on the run, no time to sleep/ I’ve got to ride, ride like the wind/ to be free again… and I’ve got such a long way to go (Michael McDonald lends his background vocal expertise here…)/ to make it to the border of Mexico/ so I ride, ride like the wind/ ride like the wind.”

The soft rock songs are lite, and happy (usually) and I’m amazed at my Rainman ability to recite useless trivia related to the songs as they play all day on my Pandora station. My husband can tell you all about it. We’ll be in the kitchen working on a project. Kenny Loggins “This is it” starts playing, I turn to my hubby and ask him “tell me what yacht rock superstar sings background vocals on this song. Tell me? Tell me! You know it. You KNOW IT! Listen to the voice. LISTEN to the voice!!!!!”

“Honey, I don’t know… I don’t knoww… I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!”

“Yes you do…THINK!”

“Ok, uh, James Taylor.”

“COME ON, really?”

“I said I don’t know…”

“Michael McDonald! Listen! His voice is distinct!! Listen!! Listen!!! Listen!!!”

By the way… can you all name the superstar band that Michael McDonald belonged to in the 70s? Doobie Brothers!!!

Hmm…maybe I’m just really obsessed with Michael McDonald. I did really love “Ya Mo Be There” back in the day.

(Editors note: Don’t let her fool you with the soft rock stuff. It’s a phase. She’s a closet head banger, believe me. I owe my allegiance to Ozzy to the bride.)

But, the issue at hand is my procrastination problem. I will procrastinate on anything that I think is difficult. Look how long I just procrastinated writing about procrastinating?

And I stress that I will procrastinate on anything: A DIY project (most recently body scrubs) and distressed wooden signs we made for gifts, which now that I think about it, my husband had to finish up after I left. Ooops!

2013-12-23 17.39.40

(They did turn out pretty nice though…if I must say, which yes, I must!)

I procrastinate making phone calls — the ones that I think are difficult — like calling our cable television company to scream about our bill, which each month becomes increasingly difficult to comprehend, like solving a calculus mathematical problem. Conflict makes me really uncomfortable, very, very uncomfortable, so I will procrastinate any situation where I think conflict could arise as a result.

When did this start? Childhood, where else! Probably as early as the 70s (which now makes me understand my obsession with yacht rock). My husband, and kids will tell you that I am the hardest on myself (aren’t we all). Women – why do we all feel that we have to be perfect (wife, mother)? Why can’t we be satisfied with ourselves, just the way we are?

My life, at 47, I’m still trying to figure out. I’m still trying to figure ME out. And, I procrastinate the most on that right now as I sit here unemployed, and about to go back to school. I procrastinated all the way into my late 40s to finally determine what is going to make me happy. I’m still trying to figure that out. Just ask my husband. He is a patient man, and he loves me unconditionally. Always has. He listens to my rants as they make their own path through my mind, sometimes never really having a definitive end…

”Honey, I think I want to own a farm.”

“Babe, I definitely, definitely want to buy an apartment in San Francisco.”

“But, I KNOW I will be happy on my farm, away from people, raising chickens and goats.”

“Sweetie, I think I want to go back to work…in Human Resources.”

“Hey, I’ve decided that I want to go back to school to become an esthetician. I could have my own boutique in our small town, and I will make my own natural skincare. I would be so happy on the farm, making furniture from distressed wood!”

I might figure it out one day, but then again, I might not. Right now, right this minute I’m not going to worry about it, because Solitaire is calling my name, which I’m great at. And I’m going to shut up right now because Rosanna from Toto is playing in my ear “All I want to do when I wake up in the morning is see your eyes. Rosanna.”

Did you know that Toto’s keyboardist wrote Rosanna for his then girlfriend, actress Rosanna Arquette? And, do you know who played Rosanna in the video?? Why, it was Cynthia Rhodes (dancer extraordinaire..remember her in Flashdance), and Cynthia is married to soft rocker Richard Marx!

And… well, let’s just procrastinate on that one shall we? Next time! Maybe?! We shall see!

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