All Time Red Sox Lineup: Celebrating baseball, lists and opening day

Opening day was so great this year I have to keep it rolling one more day… hell, it may roll all week! But in true celebration, I’m taking the day off watching baseball and taking the Bride to a nearby authentic mill that grinds its own flour among other things (yes, you can expect a post soon, once this baseball euphoria passes).

Baseball and lists and opening day(s) all swirl in my mind’s sky like the purples, pinks and oranges of a perfect sunset.

And for a bonus list of the many I keep in my mind related to baseball, I give you the All-time team that would play in Heaven’s baseball game against the Yankees in Fenway Park (The Yanks lose every game in Heaven). Compare mine to the fans ballot here.

My All-Time Red Sox lineup:

  • 1) Tris Speaker, CF (but my heart belongs to Dom DiMaggio, SF-born Italian, brilliant mind, great person and wonderful CF).
  • 2) Bobby Doerr, 2B, Hall of Famer gets the nod over all-time gamer, Dustin Pedroia. Pedroia makes the team as our utility guy.


  • 3) Ted Williams, RF- Moved him to right, because let’s face it, his defense sucks everywhere. But gotta love his bat. He’s the one sour apple in our clubhouse. But I recall a quote of his as a manager of the Washington Senators. When asked about pitching, he stalled and stammered and then said, “Fuck it. Let’s hit.”


  • 4) Yaz, Lf. The best in left off the monster ever. The best in the clutch ever (even you Mr. Ortiz). A true great. I bet he’d beat Ted Williams’ ass every now again, too (and Pedroia probably helped).
  • 5) David Ortiz, DH- When you are given a plaque by management calling you the greatest clutch Red Sox hitter ever, (it’s not accurate, see above) but it’s saying something. When you almost single-hand-idly break the eighty-year old curse with clutch game-winners over the Yankees, well… carve the statue.
  • 6) Jimme Foxx, 1b- Gotta have a life of the party, and besides, Jimmy Dugan was based on his life, so this our EFFin Artist favorite on the team by association.


  • 7)Jimmy Collins, 3b- This is a tough one. I bet Doerr could have played here and then I’d put Pedroia in. Hell, I know Pedroia would play there. But neither did. So I’m inclined to simply take one of my all-time favorites, Kevin Youkilis. Because fans in heaven want to scream YOUK… But Collins was a hall of famer, so… Oh yeah, and no, I didn’t forget Wade Boggs. When he rode that GD#(#$% Horse around Yankee stadium in pinstripes, he was dead to me. Which is also why you won’t find Roger Clemens (double whammy with the steroid thing) on this list or Johnny Damon (loved him.. damnit). But you will find Babe Ruth, because he was ours first AND he was sold, not swooned.
  • 8) Jason Varitek, C- The Captain was such a great backstop and leader he’d be the captain in heaven too. He’s a man.


Let’s face it, you have to have this happen over and over in Heaven. It’ll never grow old. NOW, I KNOW, I know,… Carlton Fisk. Game 6 alone should make him a roster spot. But I’m going with Varitek. Fisk lost game 7. Varitek won two championships. Varitek finished his career with the Sox. Fisk left (though I blame management). You need two catchers, I’ll take both.

  • 9) Johnny Pesky, SS- Nomar was better, but I suspect steroids, AND I hated his prima dona attitude. Pesky was a baller. Plus he has his own pole in the stadium, so he’d have to play in heaven.
  • Starters: My Ace is Pedro. Plain and simple. Until that unfortunate taunt of drilling the Babe’s ass, he was the best of his era by far. Babe Ruth (and then you get his bat too, and he can take Foxx out on the town each night, fun for all Boston!)

The Babe

  • Lefty Grove, Cy Young, Smokey Joe Wood (with apologies to Mel Parnell).
  • Closer: Give me Pap man. He was ungodly before he left. And he didn’t go to the Yanks. Who doesn’t want to see this at the end of every game?


  • Manager: Terry Francona. Two world series. End of story. Management did him wrong. Sad. I love that he’s doing it again in Cleveland. A prophet is never honored in his own town.

There it is. Let the games begin. And the arguments I hope. Red Sox fans, chime in below. Who is on your team?

I’ll save my Giants all-time team for a later day.


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